Saturday, August 3, 2013

What I Feel is What I Oughtta Feel

I have a ton of things to do today.  My list is long, the greater part of my list is in my mind.  I have a book, it's titled, "Master To Do List."  I started it in October of 2012.

My to do list is extensive and since I started working outside the home this summer, I have limited time to take care of my home duties.  I'm feeling all sorts of things.  These past few days have been riddled with deep emotions.  Thoughts about life and love. Thoughts about change and challenge.  I lost two cousins last week, one to illness and one to a random violent shooting spree. Their lives were lost on the same day, ironically. 

After this weekend there will be one less person living in our home with us.

Loss comes up and it greatly saddens me.  I must honestly say what's keeping me strong and moving forward is the gift of having had these three amazing people in my life.  I'm sitting at my laptop printing pictures. I'm sweeping. I put of load of clothes in the machine to wash but I don't have the focus to clean and organize the piles of mess. In the past two weeks I've created little piles everywhere, not cool. I'm sad. This writing helps me to acknowledge that. It helps me to ease my pain.  The tears don't stop but the memories bring small smiles.

I love you long after you're gone...and long after you're gone, gone, gone!

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Thank you for reading and sharing.


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