Friday, October 21, 2011

Making a choice

Just finished watching last night's Private Practice, episode 'Remember me,' and as always I am moved.

Cooper fathered a child 9 years ago and the lady shows up to the Practice to inform him of this.  Cooper's wife, Charlotte, played by KaDee Strickland (my favorite character) is so conflicted by it and she makes a grave mistake.   Cooper, played by Paul Adelstein, is continuously having sketchy judgement as he works with his emotions and not his mind or work ethics, is excited about the prospect of being a father, he doesn't even want to take a paternity test cause he wants it to be true.  Nevertheless, Sam, the HOT Taye Diggs, comes to speak to Charlotte because he is in a similar, but not the same, predicament.  Charlotte's response to Sam ended with, "I CHOSE COOPER!"  I almost gave her a standing ovation.  I wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment, that train of thought, that emotion.  

Later on she goes ahead and tries to pay off the lady to go away, she gave her 20K, a check for 20K.  At that point I almost started to judge her for this and be very turned off as this is neither choosing Cooper, nor supporting Cooper.  

(Sidebar, I know this is a program for entertainment purposes but if it doesn't provoke thought or emotion I will not waste my time, so stay with me...)

I have been doing lots of self work around moving away from judgement. My go to thoughts, emotions or reactions are first Fear and immediately after judgement and sometimes it starts with straight up JUDGEMENT and I KNOW that stems from fear.  With this in mind I took a moment and thought and decided that Charlotte's reaction and attempt to pay off the lady to go away was just her being human and vulnerable and attempting to protect herself from violations and betrayal. This had nothing to do with the lady, the boy, Cooper or anything other than Charlotte instinctively protecting herself.  WOW. Yes, I had an AHA moment while watching PP. I love it.  

I made a choice several years ago now and although at times I wish I had 20K to pay someone off to do something or other I am very satisfied and very blessed.  I would keep making that SAME choice time after time.  That is where I am right NOW and isn't NOW all that we have?


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